Two distinct traits: Its one thing to find love and its another to keep that. And these two traits are so distinct in itself. It's almost like the difference between a "miner" of love and a "collector" of love. Imagine the difference between the coal mines of PA and the collectors of Upper West Side. Good miners are good in finding hot babes. Well, let's just say they pick up women in a heartbeat. Good collectors know to keep them for a long long time - till death do us apart.
And there are some like me. Not a finder, not a collector. God help them. What do they do? Where do they go? Here's what they do - when the others are screwing they write a mini-thesis about solitude.
I recently watched Bergman's TV series called "Scenes from a Marriage." Simply put - his best work to me. Timeless, orginal, and portrays real aspects of life that makes me feel - every minute was worth it. There is a discourse where the man talks about loneliness and that we are all lonely. We are alone in this world. That's the truth. Rest is illusion. We don't want to be lonely but we try to comfort ourselves that we have a family, a work place, a community, etc. - all to just foolishly comfort ourselves in this make-belief world.
Ultimately, the sooner we learn to live by myself - the better off I'll be. The protagonist - the man - keeps explaining to his divorced wife. The wife calmly listens and says - she does not agree with him. She calls him having a defeatist attitude, which she will not buy into. It's like learning to cope up with sea sickness before taking a ship rather than taking a plane because it may crash.
I was so much like the man in the Scenes from a marriage. Trying to comfort myself - by rationalizing my loneliness. Truth be told - it is absolutely vacuuous. Activating my creative and logical juices in my brain has never comforted my heart. But interstingly enough, it makes so much sense - at time. So much so - I was walking talking thinking that is the truth. It fitted my situation so well. The woman in the TV series - thankfully - was able to relegate this "truth" into an opinion worth rejecting.
There may be some truth to loneliness being the ultimate truth of life. But that does not help me. I hate to be alone. Someone dear leaves me and I miss that person. What's my ticket out of loneliness? Travelling, photography, writing? Elusive it may be, call it kiddish, but I need to explore, expand, and feel free. Goodbye my rationality crutch for now - until I need you again.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Ganguly
How many times sports personalities become icons as turnaround geniuses? As a kid, cricket was my religion - so much so my primal instincts told me that I was destined to be a cricketer. Taking a departure from Schopenhauer's "Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills", I became something else. Well, that was on a lighter vein, but today something really hit me.
I am awed and inspired by our own Ganguly. We have heard stories about Wilma Rudolph, Jesse Owens, Jordan, and not to forget Jamaica's Bobsled team among many others who overcame adversities and became role models for life. Management pundits frequently draw examples of teamwork, passion, commitment, and focus from sports. So whether it is Joe Patterno's "good practice and not just practce makes one perfect" or the Ali adage of "I am the greatest", sports have filled us in pushing our own human limits of "higher, faster, and stronger".
Ganguly with his recent performance has redefined human endurance and the mental strength required to "swim against the current". This figure of speech may be hundreds of years old but in modern world it is no easy deal. With big money in cricket and media's lethal destroying power, "current" is a loaded word. And to put into the context, that he came from a super rich background, with loads of cash and from Calcutta where his prestige was still more or less intact - why did he have to come back? What is there inside him that told him - what triggered that? His will? Perhaps. But where is that will generated? Okay, let's stop right here because the answers may be as diverse as human imagination (Schopenhauer says will is not in his control anyway). But let's look at a smaller aspect. Let's presuppose that his will was there. We dont question where it came from. Let's look at that he delivered what his will wanted. Now - How many times do I even do that? I want to do this and that and yada yada yada. And then give up. Sometimes I do smal stuff and then feel I am a champion. For the big stuff, I give up and say that I changed my mind.
Ganguly's performance and this turnaround is exemplary. If I followed my will once and became a cricketer, I would have looked at his cricketing skills. But that does not preclude me from appreciating the gift he has has given now from his endurance, commitment, and proving his metal. Something more pervasive and far-reaching than his copy-book cover drive. And that is how to face life amidst adversity, being loyal and honest to one's dreams, and silence the naysayers with your work.
I am awed and inspired by our own Ganguly. We have heard stories about Wilma Rudolph, Jesse Owens, Jordan, and not to forget Jamaica's Bobsled team among many others who overcame adversities and became role models for life. Management pundits frequently draw examples of teamwork, passion, commitment, and focus from sports. So whether it is Joe Patterno's "good practice and not just practce makes one perfect" or the Ali adage of "I am the greatest", sports have filled us in pushing our own human limits of "higher, faster, and stronger".
Ganguly with his recent performance has redefined human endurance and the mental strength required to "swim against the current". This figure of speech may be hundreds of years old but in modern world it is no easy deal. With big money in cricket and media's lethal destroying power, "current" is a loaded word. And to put into the context, that he came from a super rich background, with loads of cash and from Calcutta where his prestige was still more or less intact - why did he have to come back? What is there inside him that told him - what triggered that? His will? Perhaps. But where is that will generated? Okay, let's stop right here because the answers may be as diverse as human imagination (Schopenhauer says will is not in his control anyway). But let's look at a smaller aspect. Let's presuppose that his will was there. We dont question where it came from. Let's look at that he delivered what his will wanted. Now - How many times do I even do that? I want to do this and that and yada yada yada. And then give up. Sometimes I do smal stuff and then feel I am a champion. For the big stuff, I give up and say that I changed my mind.
Ganguly's performance and this turnaround is exemplary. If I followed my will once and became a cricketer, I would have looked at his cricketing skills. But that does not preclude me from appreciating the gift he has has given now from his endurance, commitment, and proving his metal. Something more pervasive and far-reaching than his copy-book cover drive. And that is how to face life amidst adversity, being loyal and honest to one's dreams, and silence the naysayers with your work.
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