Monday, October 30, 2006
The significance of being insignificant
I was in a Barnes and Noble browzing. In the magazines section, I found them showcasing Esquire magazine - styleguide for men. Sifting through the pages, I feel a kick inside my stomach saying, "This is the benchmark. Do something." And this sudden urge creeps in that how I can increase my net worth and get inside Forbes richest men issue - year 2025. I understand relying on my job in "just over broke" in billionaire terms. What are other ways of earning? Stock market is Las Vegas for me without the girls - just another slippery slope that I don't understand. So what's there for me. Education myself more? But does that guarantee anything? And so this is how my day goes. Night falls. My living room turns into a paradise - Horowitz playing the Motzart piano concertos and a glass of rum, reading the NY times, an empty plate where the remants of lamb curry and bread ... and a dim lamp. Life seems to be complete. Call it complacency or satisfaction, call it resignation or contentment - is like beauty - lying in the eyes of the beholder. For now, a day goes by and a night. May be I will get back to wealth creation models, but for now the Hyde loves to forget Dr. Jekyl in me.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Suiciders don't need the law
Yesterday while driving to work, I heard an interview on the BBC that some dude in UK has started an international campaign to introduce a law that will incriminate individuals who may have caused someone else to drive into committing suicide. I do feel sorry for this guy who is in rage after her sister committed suicide because her husband would give her a hard time. I do feel bad for him and is most unfortunate that someone had to take her life. But pass a law to incriminate someone?
Wake up dude, this is 21st century. If your sister could walk out of this world and could not walk out of her marriage then that’s no excuse. Too bad! People will commit suicides, the common reason being that the pain of life itself exceeds the pain of death. In most cases, these people are pushed beyond any form of conventional sanity. I say that because under sane conditions people want to live. Whether it is through the explanations of the physical universe, economic theory, or theology – at least on this ground there is a commonality. Medicine strives to increase life expectancy and so does the monk who is chanting in his tree house. So much so, religion even talks about everlasting life in another world knowing fully well say as you may death is inevitable in this life. So, well - construct another world and who cares if I add the extra bonus whether I get a thousand virgins to do lap dancing. Said in another way that’s what we all want – life, enjoy, and gratify our senses. You and I are looking for a life to live – this world or anything else. But those who commit suicides have gone beyond all these rational, normal, and sane understanding of our universe. And if someone is drawn to this ultimate act, how and more importantly, why do we hold another responsible. No one buys an argument that any situation can be such that suicide was the only option.
Many may argue that it may be so. An unmarried girl getting pregnant in a north Indian village may take her life thinking that she wont be able to carry on with her social stigma. In this case, whom do you punish – the boy who disowned her or the society. Since the society does not have a phone number nor an address, you punish the boy. But is this fair? Were not both of them partners in the same act (assuming everything was consensual).
This guy’s claim and efforts are bogus. Suicide like abortion is a fundamental right as a human being. We do not have any control over our birth, we have limited control over our life – the way it goes, but death – we have complete control. Not that every one of us are taking our lives, but the fact that I can helps me tide over life’s many sorrows, despair, and agony. And when in those dark corners of my thoughts, the thought that I can take my life creeps up like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, it is indeed redeeming. I then finally manage to say, “No, not yet. I can go few more of this pain.” Death will come anyway. As in Bergman’s Seventh Seal, the protagonist says, “…I am playing chess with death.” Yes, we all are playing chess with death. If someone wants to resign and walk away, let her do so. We all will be check mated anyway. It’s just a matter of when. So dude, get on with your own life, and channelize your anger and grief to something more meaningful. You and I will follow your sister soon, so why does it matter if she did it by herself.
Wake up dude, this is 21st century. If your sister could walk out of this world and could not walk out of her marriage then that’s no excuse. Too bad! People will commit suicides, the common reason being that the pain of life itself exceeds the pain of death. In most cases, these people are pushed beyond any form of conventional sanity. I say that because under sane conditions people want to live. Whether it is through the explanations of the physical universe, economic theory, or theology – at least on this ground there is a commonality. Medicine strives to increase life expectancy and so does the monk who is chanting in his tree house. So much so, religion even talks about everlasting life in another world knowing fully well say as you may death is inevitable in this life. So, well - construct another world and who cares if I add the extra bonus whether I get a thousand virgins to do lap dancing. Said in another way that’s what we all want – life, enjoy, and gratify our senses. You and I are looking for a life to live – this world or anything else. But those who commit suicides have gone beyond all these rational, normal, and sane understanding of our universe. And if someone is drawn to this ultimate act, how and more importantly, why do we hold another responsible. No one buys an argument that any situation can be such that suicide was the only option.
Many may argue that it may be so. An unmarried girl getting pregnant in a north Indian village may take her life thinking that she wont be able to carry on with her social stigma. In this case, whom do you punish – the boy who disowned her or the society. Since the society does not have a phone number nor an address, you punish the boy. But is this fair? Were not both of them partners in the same act (assuming everything was consensual).
This guy’s claim and efforts are bogus. Suicide like abortion is a fundamental right as a human being. We do not have any control over our birth, we have limited control over our life – the way it goes, but death – we have complete control. Not that every one of us are taking our lives, but the fact that I can helps me tide over life’s many sorrows, despair, and agony. And when in those dark corners of my thoughts, the thought that I can take my life creeps up like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, it is indeed redeeming. I then finally manage to say, “No, not yet. I can go few more of this pain.” Death will come anyway. As in Bergman’s Seventh Seal, the protagonist says, “…I am playing chess with death.” Yes, we all are playing chess with death. If someone wants to resign and walk away, let her do so. We all will be check mated anyway. It’s just a matter of when. So dude, get on with your own life, and channelize your anger and grief to something more meaningful. You and I will follow your sister soon, so why does it matter if she did it by herself.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Pamuk wins the Nobel
I am so happy today. I woke up and read Ohran Pamuk won the Nobel. For one, it is amusing because unlike other Pamuk's admirers, I am rather a late entrant to this group. But more importantly, I can at least console myself that I was lucky to fall in love with his writing before the recognition arrived.
It's been a while since I posted last. With activities galore keeping me occupied, I had all these millions of ideas racing in my mind without actually penning them down. But no more waiting. I am simply so happy. Happy to the extent of almost falling over my cerebral cliff when another voice comes and interrupts and asks, "Why are you so happy about? Do recognitions really matter? Pamuk himself said it doesn't earlier this year in an interview." Well, truth be told. It does. We are all humans and being humans we are in our inner self like children always hungry for acknowledgement. Now, you may ask if he gets the Nobel why am I happy. I am happy because in some ways a Nobel to him validates me. It validates my sense and spirit of appreciation, it recognizes the fact that what I have so fondly loved is also loved by a recognized institute. I feel being a part of a larger whole.
So much for that but what has made him so special. My first encounter with his work has been Snow and admittedly, I have not read much of his other stuff apart from his interviews, reviews in New Yorker, and so forth.
"Snow" touched me deeply. His protrait of Ka - a rather solemn, solitary poet living in a rather politically charged small towm. How he falls in love with Ipek, a divorcee, and how his typical male idiosyncracies destroys the trust that Ipek gradually began to develop. The human dynamics especially the underpinings in a man's behavior and his inherant incapacity to understand the progression of a woman's sentiments is simply amazing. It touched me to my bones. The apparent confusion that seems to baffle so many men (as I have known from my own life to those of my friends) is inspite of "doing everything" - somehow you cannot win a woman's heart. Not completely. And this where Pamuk so intricately weaves these emotions from different perspectives - almost running the subtle changes in human heart in slow motion. Beat by beat.
Quite ironically, it has baffled me and remained a mystery why so many women fall for men who are prone to trouble, or running their risk of their lives - activists who may be jailed, or criminals who may die. More personally, I have felt on numerous ocassions why linear, non-trouble makers, boy next door hunts perpetually for true love. In Snow, through Ipek's love for Blue, inspite of Blue's radical and potential life threatening circumstances. Ipek says how his compassion for people was genuine and how dedicated his love was that he braved all the risks to visit her. I guess these things matter for the heart. Again subtle remarks like - ..(paraphrasing) "men are given to verbal abuse do so to show their lover how much they love them." Well, only to find out later that woman's love has completely dried out.
Snow will remain as one of my most touching novels. In those long nights laying in my studio looking over the SF skyline - between the large open space, my little voice, and the world that Pamuk was able to weave gave me a "second life". Absolutely moving and solemn experience!
It's been a while since I posted last. With activities galore keeping me occupied, I had all these millions of ideas racing in my mind without actually penning them down. But no more waiting. I am simply so happy. Happy to the extent of almost falling over my cerebral cliff when another voice comes and interrupts and asks, "Why are you so happy about? Do recognitions really matter? Pamuk himself said it doesn't earlier this year in an interview." Well, truth be told. It does. We are all humans and being humans we are in our inner self like children always hungry for acknowledgement. Now, you may ask if he gets the Nobel why am I happy. I am happy because in some ways a Nobel to him validates me. It validates my sense and spirit of appreciation, it recognizes the fact that what I have so fondly loved is also loved by a recognized institute. I feel being a part of a larger whole.
So much for that but what has made him so special. My first encounter with his work has been Snow and admittedly, I have not read much of his other stuff apart from his interviews, reviews in New Yorker, and so forth.
"Snow" touched me deeply. His protrait of Ka - a rather solemn, solitary poet living in a rather politically charged small towm. How he falls in love with Ipek, a divorcee, and how his typical male idiosyncracies destroys the trust that Ipek gradually began to develop. The human dynamics especially the underpinings in a man's behavior and his inherant incapacity to understand the progression of a woman's sentiments is simply amazing. It touched me to my bones. The apparent confusion that seems to baffle so many men (as I have known from my own life to those of my friends) is inspite of "doing everything" - somehow you cannot win a woman's heart. Not completely. And this where Pamuk so intricately weaves these emotions from different perspectives - almost running the subtle changes in human heart in slow motion. Beat by beat.
Quite ironically, it has baffled me and remained a mystery why so many women fall for men who are prone to trouble, or running their risk of their lives - activists who may be jailed, or criminals who may die. More personally, I have felt on numerous ocassions why linear, non-trouble makers, boy next door hunts perpetually for true love. In Snow, through Ipek's love for Blue, inspite of Blue's radical and potential life threatening circumstances. Ipek says how his compassion for people was genuine and how dedicated his love was that he braved all the risks to visit her. I guess these things matter for the heart. Again subtle remarks like - ..(paraphrasing) "men are given to verbal abuse do so to show their lover how much they love them." Well, only to find out later that woman's love has completely dried out.
Snow will remain as one of my most touching novels. In those long nights laying in my studio looking over the SF skyline - between the large open space, my little voice, and the world that Pamuk was able to weave gave me a "second life". Absolutely moving and solemn experience!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Puja Time
I just returned from the Puja Weekend. It took 6 seasons to finally make it to a Durga Puja in US. Now, I can say - "I have made it." It was fun. And it was really special and divine. It was the presence of ... and I leave it at that.
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